Relationship Help

What should I know about behind the scenes of a relationship? We all think we know everything about relationships as we all think that once we’re in a relationship we become pros at being relationship advice therapists to our friends and family. How well do you think you know your significant other? We have all done those quizzes on Facebook and BuzzFeed and hoped we get the result we want, but they aren’t always accurate. We get this expectation of a “perfect relationship” from films like Nicholas Spark’s Fault in Our Stars or the Notebook and many more as well as the famous Disney, where everything is perfect that a man will fight your every battle, but that won’t happen as such in the real world. Mostly, we all fight for someone because we want to be loved and then it causes arguments and anger between the two people because underneath it all, there is nothing because you didn’t ask yourself what do I want in a significant other, we always forget about the little things like what do you want them to do for you?

What is a “perfect relationship”? Well there is not one. But, there are ways of making a sort of almost perfect relationship, some examples are:

1. Admit you’re wrong after an argument.

2. Say ‘I love you’ before you go to sleep.

3. Share the household chores (if you live together).

4. Have regular date nights (don’t do the same thing every date night).

5. Take turns to cook.

6. Have sex twice a week (sex can actually influence creativity and concrete thinking).

7. Share the washing up (it’s the 21st century we can all contribute to clean up)

8. Have a similar taste in films.

9. Have at least two shared hobbies.

10. Try to be the best of friends.

11. Cuddle at least five times a day (it releases natural painkillers).

12. Try to go on a few weekend breaks a year.

Why should we stop looking for the “perfect relationship”? The idea of this “perfect relationship” is what we have created in our heads which has made us become unhappy and be in unsatisfying relationships.

Why are we scared of long-term relationships? Some people are under the false impression that there are only certain hurdles to get across in a relationship to reach perfection. And then after you have reached this perfection there are going to be no struggles and you’ll never have to worry about anything again. This is not the case. People and situations are always changing and you need to mould your relationship in the light of these changes. You constantly need to work in the relationship in order to make everything be the way you want it to be and to make it last.

What can I do to make my relationship better? Instead of focusing on attaining the perfect relationship, focus on keeping the ideal love. The kind of love that helps you to grow, fulfils your needs and fills you with happiness. Keep in mind that your significant other and you are two different people and that what you want is not necessarily what they want therefore you must learn to compromise. As long as you’re with someone who’s worth the trouble and sacrifices, you won’t mind the obstacles you’d have to face.

What should I do next? Ignore the standards of an ideal relationship set up by society. They don’t share your situation and they don’t have to deal with the things you do. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Work with your partner on any flaws that may be present in your relationship. Remember to always love and cherish your partner for who they are and the impact they have on you.

What are some facts about relationships?

1. In heated arguments with your partner your heart rate goes up by 100 beats per minute.

2. Wednesday is the best day for a date rated by 41% of singles.

3. Chocolate contains phenyl ethylamine, a natural substance that is believed to stimulate the same reaction in the body as falling in love.

4. Falling in love triggers the same type of euphoria as cocaine.

5. The ‘in love’ phase lasts about a year.

I hope this helps you with your relationship….

Until next time…